Since perspective and context is always relative, let's just focus on the big picture. You know - the Grand Scheme of Things. What's really important, in the grand scheme of things? I know what some of you are thinking. "Well, nothing is important in the grand scheme of things!"
Ok, let's keep "grand" down to earth. A persons' life and what really matters. Ok? From this perspective, what really matters?
Being happy is kind of important, I think! So what does it take to be happy? Is money required? Well, maybe a little, but not really. A fancy car? They're fun, but do they really make you truly happy? I don't really have a lot of time, so I'll just jump to it...
Relationships with others! That's what is really important. Just how happy could anyone be without having any friends? It makes me feel miserable just thinking about it!
Can everyone be your friend? Nope! We've all heard the saying, "you can't please everybody." It's very true, you can't. Not everyone will like you, either. Big deal! As the saying goes, there are lot's of fish in the sea. These people you just deal with the best you can. Smile and move on! Whatever they think about you or what you do (did?) doesn't really matter much. After all, they either don't like you or are indifferent! They won't be around that long.
Your true friends, the people that are drawn to you, are usually pleased just being in your company. You don't have to try to make them happy. You are already making their day just by being you! They understand that you might have an "off" day. They know that people try and fail - and they are there to help you try again, and again, and again (repeat over and over) if necessary. Then they celebrate your success!
There's an old saying by Bernard Baruch, a very interesting man, "...Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." When he said it, he was answering a question about something very insignificant (in the grand scheme of things). He was asked about how he handled the seating arrangements for all those who attended his dinner parties. In this context (perspective), it means, "look, if I screw this up, who really cares? The people that matter to me don't care where they sit."
With humor, he was saying that you can't please everyone. Humor is another topic, but I'll touch on it here a little. LAUGH AT YOURSELF! Little mistakes are just that, little. It's not a big deal. ahem -- Sorry, it's just a philosophy of mine that I consider very important. Moving on...
Some people try to add to it, "Be who you are and say what you feel. Those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter." Which sounds good, but is really only a justification to be selfish. With this addition, it says "you must accept me no matter what I do because you don't matter." To which I can only say this. If no one matters to you, how are you going to matter to anyone?
We all (I hope) have friends. Some friends are closer than others. Some are really close. I'm lucky to know a few that will drop everything and drive or fly hundreds of miles just because I need them. How do you recognize that you might be getting a new friend? Some times it's hard to tell, right? As I pointed out earlier, some people are drawn to you - and you to them.
Just pay attention and keep even the little things in proper perspective. Was that hand shake just a friendly handshake? Or did it say, "I'm so happy to see you again!" Was that hug just a friendly pat on the back? Congratulations for a job well done? Or did it say, "Thank you so much! You mean the world to me." Was that kiss on the cheek just a friendly hello or goodbye? Or did it say, "You're loved! I'm always here for you."
It matters in the grand scheme of things...
With good friends you get the three cornerstones, the triangle, of happiness. And it doesn't get any better than this!
Life - Love - Laughter
Love this! Good stuff and what I needed to hear.
ReplyDeleteThe yoga training today totally goes along with what you are saying. About perception: " we see the world not as it is, but as we are." I have to constantly remind myself, which I fall seven times seven with, that if I want my life to be meaningful I must think it meaningful. It all starts with the thought which builds perception and action. If I want to be happy, I must think myaelf happy. If I want meaningful relationships, I must show myself friendly and really put powerful consideration into each hug, word said. It's like what John said in karate last week, define every movement. Instead of rushing from point a and b and putting relationships on the track passing by, take time to plant and smell the roses. Tend the garden. It's better than having a tunnel vision and ending up at the end of life wondering why you never really lived.
So glad you like it, Sapta! That quote, "we see the world not as it is, but as we are," by Anais Nin, has been around a long time. It is so true. When you think about it, how else could we see the world? It definitely makes you think about yourself.
ReplyDeleteAbout a meaningful and happy life - Yes, absolutely, a meaningful life is important. And what's meaningful to you is different than anyone else! We each must decide what is meaningful individually. Then we have to act in a way that brings us the life we want. Also, very randomly, life takes unexpected turns that will change what is meaningful. So, just when you think you have it all figured out, you find there's more. So set your attitude to embrace change, because it's coming whether you're ready or not!
Of course, a persons' attitude is a major player in determining happiness. It's the foundation of our outlook on life. It's the very first thing that must change if we're not happy.
All this might be very difficult to do at times. Other times, it seems easy. Like I said, just when you think you have it all figured out...
Sapta, you finished your comment with a very good attitude I think. Don't rush through life trying to get from point A to point B. It's the journey that matters. And your point on the roses - love it! Don't just stop and smell the roses, plant some, too. Awesome!
Osu Mark, good insight!
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