Not Content Yet?

The world is full of people looking for spectacular happiness while they snub contentment.  -- Doug Larson 

 A few days ago, I read another very good post on the Two Hands blog about contentment.  A point was made that people say that they are working towards contentment.  That they might be content in 25 or 45 years.

It's as if they are working towards retirement and only then will the possibiliby of being content present itself.  People seem to be treating contentment as a finish line.  It's what you can have when you're all done.  Well, if you're finished, what comes next?  How do you stay contented?  "Ooh!  I'm happy now.  ummm - now what?"  This is completely the wrong way to think of contentment.  Being content doesn't mean you have to stop doing what you love.

Putting contentment, being satisfied, in such a broad context makes it nearly impossible to attain.  Why can't we put contentment into a much smaller context?  It seems like we are constantly worried about how life will be not only years, but decades in the future.  Surely there are goals that reach that far.  We should plan and prepare to reach those goals, but is reaching them the only way to be content?  With goals set so far into the future, how do you measure success?  And, with these types of goals, how do you know that reaching them will provide real satisfaction?

If we can manage to make ourselves content about smaller chunks of life, and I mean much, much smaller, wouldn't it help our state of mind?  As Sapta points out, what about the here and now?  "We need to realise that we are never going to get to the future - it will always be just here and now."  It sounds like an over simplification, but it really isn't.

Using the context of daily tasks, decisions, activities, we can find ways to become content with ourselves much quicker.  The first, most important, step is to be completely honest with yourself.  If you're lying to yourself, you are lying to everyone else, too.  Ask yourself, daily, if you've made good decisions that day.

Are you satisfied that you woke up on time?  Could that conflict at work have been handled better?  Are you happy about your food choices for the day?  Hey - and if you aren't, was it worth it?  Sometimes it is! :)  Did you give your kids enough attention today?  There are tons of small decisions we make everyday.  Be your own judge on those decisions.  Being completely honest, were they all the right ones?  Surely, some of them HAD to be.  Be content about those.  Build on the good, work on the not so good.

What can you do tomorrow to reach some of these smaller goals?  Start reaching those, one at a time.  Be content with the good choices you're making while being critical of others.  Make the good choices a habit.  Realize that some days are going to be better than others.  Work on fixing the bad choices.  Contentment comes from being satisfied with yourself.  You can still be content and not be finished working on yourself!  Because are we really ever finished becoming better?  You can be content that you are making an honest effort!

Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keeps friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment.   -- Grenville Kleiser

Start small and please - please- develop a good sense of humor.  We all make mistakes.  Rarely are they really life changing.  Laugh at yourself.  What is life changing is the daily fixes we give to ourselves.  I can tell you for sure that I laugh at myself a lot!  Ask any of my friends.  Am I content?  Yeah, right now I'm pretty darn content.  I've done things recently for myself and others that make me feel good inside.  My heart is full.

And that's another thing.  Help others when you can.  Even if it's just picking up a dropped item or helping someone jump start a car.  Put yourself in their shoes.  Would you appreciate the help?  If the answer is "yes" and you're in a position to help them, then why not?  It helps them and, trust me, it helps you even more.

Do I still have problems.  Absolutely! Yes I do!  But I'm working on them, truly and honestly working on fixing them, and that makes me feel good, too.

Will my state of contentment change?  Yes, sadly, I'm sure it will.  Either through bad luck or bad decisions or a streak of both, things will surely change.  Instinctively I know this and I have set my attitude accordingly.

Set your mind to be ready for change, because it will come.  You can't control everything, but you can control your attitude.  Fall down 7, get up 8!  Keep going, don't stop, laugh at the small stuff.

Knowing that you are a work in progress, realize that so is everyone else.  Try not to expect perfection from all those around you.  Especially with kids.  Keep expections high, but realistic, and laugh with them when they sometimes slip up; while showing them how to correct their mistakes.  Teach them to keep working on themselves, just as you are working on yourself.

In contentment and joy are found the height and perfection of all love towards our neighbor.    -- William Ames

Do this, and contentment is yours - for a while anyway!  Enjoy it.